San Francisco Carousel

by Bird
Dear Nippie,

How is your life in Bangkok? How is the family that you wanted? Do you have the baby that you have always wanted? Are you ready to explore this city with me?

Last week, as I was walking around downtown, I saw a big beautiful carousel just like in the movies. I stopped to sit and watch people on the carousel. I saw one African American mother waiting for her children, whose faces were bright with big smiles. When I looked at her face, I saw that she was extremely tired. Then I thought back to when I was young and always begged my parents to take me to the carousel. I thought my parents were enjoying the experience with me as well. But now I realize that it is not always fun to raise a child. Oh, I miss my mom and dad.

Back to the topic. Remember where I am? I'm in San Francisco! Do you think that if I just saw one family on a carousel, I would send this letter to you? Of course not! On the other side of the carousel, I saw parents who were both women with their two kids. Even though both kids were different (one white and one Asian), the family looked so happy. That's not enough to define being in San Francisco. Next to that lesbian family, there were parents with one kid, and yes, they were all male! Now this carousel is a real San Francisco carousel.

I have always wanted to have my own children. At the last gay pride parade, I saw many gays and lesbians who showed up with their kids and I was so proud with them. I hope I will have my own kids one day. Until recently, however, I didn't realize that parents have to dedicate almost all of their time to their children. I questioned myself after saw the African American motherís tired face. Am I ready to be that tired? Is gay parenting harder compared to straight parenting? I think time will tell me when I grow up. (I meant when I'm more than 30 years old). Thinking about how hard it is to be a parent really makes me love my parents more and more. How were they able to raise a naughty kid like me?

I'm so happy to hear that you will come here next year or sooner, especially to this city, the city of freedom. There are many lesbian families, something that you might not see in Thailand, and I hope they will give you some ideas about being a lesbian parent as you want to be. Now, I have learned a lot about being who I am. My next goal is learning to grow up and give love to others, and yes, to my future kids.

Looking forward to seeing you here,

Love,
Bird