Know…

Why youth stay in abusive relationships

• They may believe resources are not available.
• They may not trust adults, including police or school officials.
• They may be afraid of getting in trouble if they went against their parents’ wishes.
• They may fear other situations at home or school or on the streets.
• They may feel at fault for using drugs or alcohol.
• They may fear being “outed” if they are gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender.
• They may feel ashamed, embarrassed, isolated, depressed, scared, etc.
• They may feel afraid their peers will blame them.

How you can help a friend get out of an abusive relationship

• Educate yourself about dating violence.
• Listen and believe your friend.
1. Be supportive and non-judgmental
2. Don’t put your friend down for staying.
• Point out the strengths of your friend.
• Explain to your friend that s/he is not to blame.
• Remind your friend s/he cannot change the abusive person.
• Talk about your concerns.
• Help your friend find out how to set up a safety plan.
• Help your friend talk to adults who can help.
• Offer resources, such as La Casa de las Madres, Riley Center, SFWAR, and CUAV.
• Take care of yourself and don’t get directly involved in a dangerous situation.

How you can prevent violence in a dating situation

PROTECT YOURSELF

• Talk about what you both want.
• Go out on group dates with people you know and trust.
• Stay in public places.
• Always have money for bus or cab to get home on your own.
• Use cell phone to let a friend know where you are (beware of no signal or dead battery).
• Learn self-defense (hit and split; stun and run).

PROTECT YOUR PARTNER

• If you are an abuser, admit that you have a problem.
• Make a commitment to yourself: “I will not force sex or hit.”
• Find a counselor or support group or someone else to talk to.
• Get help for drug and alcohol problems.
• Respect your partner and yourself; you CAN choose not to abuse.