What Do You Think?


Circle Agree, Disagree or Don't Know.

1. Rape is caused by uncontrollable sex drives. Agree Disagree Don't Know
2. Women provoke rape. Most women who are raped ask for it, want it, or deserve it. Agree Disagree Don't Know
3. Most rape victims are raped by strangers. Agree Disagree Don't Know
4. Most rapes are reported to the police. Agree Disagree Don't Know
5. Men cannot be raped, so they do not have to be concerned about it. Agree Disagree Don't Know
6. Most people are raped by someone from a different "race"/culture/ethnicity than their own. Agree Disagree Don't Know
7. a. It is OK for a husband to rape his wife. Agree Disagree Don't Know
7. b. Since sex workers perform sex for money, they cannot be raped. Agree Disagree Don't Know
8. A person always knows if he/she has been raped. Agree Disagree Don't Know
9. A woman will often say "no" to sex when she means "yes." Agree Disagree Don't Know
10. If a person first agrees to sexual relations and then tells her/his partner that she/he no longer wants to have sex, it is partially that person's fault if she/he is raped. Agree Disagree Don't Know
11. People in same sex relationships do not have to worry about battery or rape in their dating relationships Agree Disagree Don't Know
12. A person who is beaten or abused must like it or need it; otherwise, she/he would leave the relationship Agree Disagree Don't Know


WHEN YOU ARE FINISHED RESPONDING, PLEASE TURN THE PAGE OVER SO THAT YOU CAN SEE PROJECT SURVIVE'S ANALYSIS.

READ THE STATEMENT AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE FIRST, AND THEN LOOK AT THE RESPONSES TO THE INDIVIDUAL STATEMENTS ABOUT WHICH YOU MIGHT HAVE SOME QUESTIONS.

All of the statements represent myths and stereotypes associated with sexual violence. We disagree with them and offer the following facts and statistics to support our argument.

1. Rape is an act of physical and emotional violence. A person rapes someone in order to dominate, humiliate, control, degrade, terrify, and/or violate.
Power and anger are the primary motivating factors. Although, in an acquaintance rape situation, a person may start out by feeling sexually turned on, if he or she persists after his/her partner says "no," he/she's acting out of hurt and anger--not love or desire.

2. Rape is a crime. Nothing in a victim's appearance or actions justifies forced sexual contact. The rapist may use the excuse "she was asking for it by the way she was dressed." The truth is that no one asks, wants, or deserves to be raped.

3. Studies show that the majority of those sexually assaulted are acquainted with their assailants. According to Lawrence A. Greenfield's Sex Offenses and Offenders: An Analysis of Data on Rape and Sexual Assault (Washington, D.C.: Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, 1997), 75% of all victims knew their assailants.

4. Nationally, rape is the most underreported crime. The National Crime Victimization Survey (1999) reports that 72% of rapes are not reported to law enforcement. In fact, many people who are raped never tell anyone about it. This statistic, however, has improved from 84% not reported in 1992.

5. The San Francisco Rape Treatment Center reports that men, both straight and gay, comprise about 10% of the rape victims they see each year. A man can be raped in a gay male relationship, in prison, in a gay bashing incident, or even by a woman, although that is rare. Instead, men will often say yes to sex even if they don't want it because they have been socialized not to refuse sex. It's not a legal rape but an unhealthy dynamic. Also, men have wives, friends, mothers and daughters who may someday need help coping with the aftermath of sexual assault. Finally, men listen to other men, so they can become allies in stopping rape.

6. As a national average, 80-90% of all sexual assaults occur between people of the same race, although attacks by men of color--especially African Americans and Latinos--against white women are given more publicity (See Rape and Society: Readings on the Problem of Sexual Assault edited by Patricia Searles and Ronald J. Berger and "Sexual Violence Facts and Statistics"--Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault, 1993). There is evidence of racial bias in our legal system Although men of color are estimated to comprise a small proportion of sexual assailants, they are 48% of those convicted and 80% of those jailed for assault (See Women, Race, and Class by Angela Davis).

7. It is never okay to force sex on someone, no matter what the relationship between the two people is. They can be friends, lovers, spouses, or sex worker and client. Please note the legal definition of rape: If someone says "no" to a sexual act, and the other person persists, it is rape. If someone is drunk, under the influence of drugs, under age, or in any other way not able to give consent, and the other person has sex with them, it is rape. When a person has reason to fear for his or her life or safety if s/he refuses sex and so submits, it is rape.

8. Many people who have been raped by an acquaintance blame themselves. They know something went wrong, but they don't know what to call it. Also, many people don't know the legal definition of rape (SEE #7).

9. If a woman says "no" to sex, a man should believe her. If she really did not mean "no," she will let the man know. If he feels he's getting a mixed message, he should ask for clarification. The assumption that "no" means "talk me into it" or "yes" is often how many situations develop into acquaintance rape.

10. The rapist, not the victim, is at fault. Everyone has the right to change his or her mind and set limits. Forced sex is never okay.

11. Battery and rape exist in same sex dating relationships as well as in heterosexual relationships.

12. No one likes to be beaten. In sadomasochistic sex play, consenting partners negotiate their roles, and the partner who might be getting slapped or tied up, for example, has total control to stop the play at any time. In abusive relationships, a battery victim does not like being beaten and has a hard time leaving for complex reasons: fear, shame, economic dependence, children, cultural and religious pressures, love or concern for batterer, history of family abuse, no emotional or physical support from friends or relatives, lack of knowledge of resources.

Project SURVIVE believes that all forms of power abuse are not acceptable. Although inter-personal violence against women and children is more prevalent, men can also be victims. Anyone who abuses power needs to find strategies to stop abusive behavior.
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